With Apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan:



As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
I’ve got a little list — I’ve got a little list
Of Republican offenders who might well be underground,
And who never would be missed — who never would be missed!

There’s the perky blonde Ivanka, whose clothes come from overseas
And the Chief of Staff Rance Preibus, which sounds like a disease
O’ Banion, late of Breitbart, who the Liberals all have dissed
He’s bulky and he’s sulky–not to mention… a Fascist
And Paul Ryan who keeps lyin’ that he favors Donald Trump
And that mealy-mouth McConnell with the brains of Forest Gump
They’d none of ’em be missed — they’d none of ’em be missed!
I’ve got ’em on the list — I’ve got ’em on the list;
And they’ll none of ’em be missed — they’ll none of ’em be missed.

There’s the righteous Rick Santorum, and the others who like Pence
Mix Church and State like grist–I’ve got them on the list!
And the new Supreme Court Justice who’s a foe of Roe v. Wade
And his fellow Justice Thomas who’s certainly “ferdrayt”
They never would be missed — they never would be missed!

Then the Donald who praises, with enthusiastic tone,
A border wall to limit immigrants to those with names like ” Fred” or “Joan.”
And the nut case from Alaska who is dumb beyond belief,
Who parades around the country: Sarah Palin–where’s the beef?
And that singular anomaly, Anne Coulter–get my gist?
I don’t think she’d be missed — I’m sure she’d not he missed!
He’s got her on the list — he’s got her on the list;
And I don’t think she’ll be missed — I’m sure she’ll not be missed!
And that Russian-loving liar, who just now is rather rife,
The Putin collusionist — Mike Flynn has made the list!
All the O’Reillys and the Conways and the Spicers make me pissed–
They’d none of ’em be missed — they’d none of ’em be missed.

And apologetic statesmen of a compromising kind,
Such as backward Red State Congressmen…oh well, Never-mind,
And people for whom Obama is the arch antagonist to rue–
The task of filling up the blanks I’d rather leave to you.
But it really doesn’t matter whom you put upon the list,
For they’d none of ’em be missed — they’d none of ’em be missed!


Gary Blake is an author and artist who lives in Delray Beach Florida.  He is co-author of The Elements of Business Writing, which is the standard text for commercial writing and an expert in claims documentation.  You can learn more about his professional writing services from his website.